The Next Episode

À Paris

April 12, 2018

The week in Paris is now behind, and I’m back in Copenhagen with new energy (and some new freckles). The trip was originally arranged by the school as a part of a research project, although we mostly had time for ourselves to go around the city. We stayed in the 11th district close to Bastille, which was a completely new area for me in Paris. We also spent a lot of our time on the northern side of Seine, and I absolutely fell in love with Marais! The area had such a peculiar vibe – and was so different from the other parts of the city. The days were mainly spent by walking kilometers after kilometers, trying to bring back those French skills from 7th grade, strolling through vintage stores and sitting on an outside serving drinking cheap wine.

The last evening when me and Kevin snook out for a one last drink around the corner, sitting there watching people pass by, I told him that I could definitely see myself living in this city at some point of my life. That city has a special vibe which is so indescribable. I remember having those same thoughts the first time I went to Paris, so it was nice to see that I still feel the same way towards the city. You never know!

Contrast

April 2, 2018

http://oceanadesigns.net/wp-json/oembed/1.0/embed?url=http://oceanadesigns.net/envira/white-carrara/ Playing with light in Helsinki, March 2018
Now I’m going to finish packing for Paris tomorrow. Bisous!

Glyptoteket

March 11, 2018

http://tomcarter.co.uk/marijn-van-kreij-sings-always-happy/ Long time since I’ve last written here. Quite a lot has happened during one month actually! A lot more than I imagined. February started off with going to different job interviews, and I found out in mid-February that I got a job! Finally. I’m going to start working with Digital Marketing in Philips next week. So excited!

February was also a month of many birthdays, including some of my friends’ birthdays and mine. Mine was celebrated with a group of friends in a super cozy bar called The Barking Dog in Nørrebro. Couldn’t ask for a better one! The following week was unfortunately spent in bed due to a crazy flu and fever, but during the weekend my dear parents came over to Copenhagen to keep me company and to cure my illness. This weekend I’m loading my batteries for next week, which is going to be hectic with a huge school project and starting the new job.

These pictures were taken today when we met up with Kevin in Glyptoteket (I was there last week with my parents as well, but being so ill I was mainly concentrating on not fainting so I missed out on a lot) for coffee. Its definitely one of the most beautiful places in Copenhagen, totally worth a visit!

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February 11, 2018

see Today after having spent a typical Sunday doing nothing and scrolling through social medias and blogs until my eyes felt crossed, I had the weirdest feeling of an urge to write. I’ve always held myself back when it comes to opening up to a x amount of people and being vulnerable. I’ve also had the tendency of keeping some things even from myself, which has led to thoughts just building up in the back of my head waiting to be coped with.

Just the thought of writing personal stuff for an audience scares me. Sometimes even opening up in my diary (which has been with me since 2006) feels like a huge step to take, and the thought of it makes my stomach flinch. To write down your emotions somewhere and them turning into something physical. This is when my brain tells me it’s easier to just forget. Pushing it back and hoping it doesn’t pop up again.

By moving to Copenhagen from Helsinki, building my own life and living by my own terms has made me think about these things more. Connecting with new people from scratch and building long-lasting friendships with them. To put yourself in a situation where you are forced to be open yourself about your hopes and fears, past and future.

Even though this half a year has been fairly easy for me without major step-backs with the moving process and settling in, it still has been an emotional rollercoaster in its entirety. Breaking free from the most comftorable thing in the world – home, family and friends, to jumping into a completely new environment with strangers. Topped with mournful news from back home and keeping up relationships on long-distance. Many things layer up at the same time whilst trying to keep up with the new everyday life in the new environment, leading to anxiety every now and then.

Sometimes people ask me – do you feel more emotionally comftorable in Copenhagen or Helsinki? I had been thinking about the answer for a long time, since I don’t even know it myself. The thought of going back home to Helsinki where everything is familiar to me is very comforting, but at the same time, coming back feels like I just disappear in the crowd and be by myself without any distractions. Kind of a safeguarding environment for me.

This question got accurate earlier in January, when a beloved relationship came to an end. Being here, grieving with only my own thoughts felt like being in a comfort zone. It might sound weird, but when I jumped on the plane a few days after with Helsinki as my destination, I almost felt like wanting to escape the situation. Having to face all the people who know you as your most vulnerable and being reminded of the places and memories where you once were. After spending an emotional week in Helsinki, it felt good to be back.

I feel like im now in quite a good place with my thoughts and I have a more balanced mindset than I had a while ago. I guess the relationship with your mind is a never ending, evolving process, where you never find a right or wrong answer. Looking back, moving to another country has made me grow immensely as a person.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this text. I guess I don’t need an answer for that – so I’m just going with it.

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